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Where Would You Be, Without Me? by Muhjahid Qahhar

Posted by Muhjahid Qahhar, Author on August 29, 2013 at 9:30 AM

Fantasia has another hit single out titled, "Without Me."  The chorus rings, "Where Would You Be WIthout Me?" As it played over the radio this morning while taking my son to school, I found myself growing irritated by what seemed to be yet another song geared towards division between the genders. Having my child in the car with me keeps me in an analytical mode.

At some point in the song I asked myself, "Where would I be without my wife?" I considered the many ups and downs we've encountered throughout our marriage, the many times I have wondered if I would have accomplished more in life without her. This is not a proud confession but I'm certain she has considered the same during difficult times, and I doubt that these thoughts are germane to us.

With the amount of anger and resentment I had towards the prison system and its inhumane treatment towards its residents, it is quite possible that I would be dead right now, along with many others, before they finally stopped me. To a lesser extreme, I may have backslid into my old ways of promiscuity. A different woman in each city and state, too busy with the wrong things instead of being forced by responsibility to sit still long enough to keep my mind focused on the right things.

There are many brothers released from prison, some smarter than me, and society will never be exposed to their minds, children will never benefit from their full potential. They will do more harm than good because men are prone to get their priorities misconstrued without the balancing factor a good woman brings to the table.

As we inched along in the school traffic, I turned off the radio and told my son, "Women can seem like a royal pain in the ass sometimes, but part of that pain is what God put in their nature to constantly chip away at us, to help us maintain balance. Son, all friction is not bad. Learn what to let go of and what to hold on to, and you'll go far. They help you differentiate between your wants and needs."

I know that he didn't understand all of what I said, but he will remember it. He always does. When he's trying to wiggle out of some work or a task, he'll revisit the conversation. He'll ask me something like, "Daddy, what is friction?"

Muhjahid Qahhar

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