FROM CRIMINAL TO CREDIBLE

Black Love With No Boundaries. The Future of Urban Literature.

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Moderation, by Muhjahid Qahhar

Posted by Muhjahid Qahhar, Author on September 3, 2013 at 10:40 AM Comments comments (2)

TO LIVE IN MODERATION is easier said than done. TO NOT LIVE IN MODERATION is one of the leading causes of failure.
We have a child, by age two the whining, crying, clinging, carrying, feeding, mess control, and much more starts to wear on even the most loving parent. By the time they're six, you start to miss the two year old stage. You want to hold them again...sometimes. Truth is, the terrible twos aren't so terrible when there are two parents equally participating. Moderation can make the difference in a good parent and an abusive parent.

SOMETIMES, THE AFFAIR BECOMES HEALTHIER than the actual marriage or relationship. (I am not trying to encourage or promote affairs) The taboo of it contributes to the excitement, not the health. Both parties may have a full life, bills, adult responsibilities. All of these things, plus the mechanics of having an affair, forces them to socialize moderately. Not too much, not too little. It keeps the relationship refreshed. Keeps things spicy. I would like to think there is a technique to do the same with marriage, to keep the relationship afresh. We don't consider these things, we just allow the relationship to grow old and insipid. We do this over and over again, starting out on fire, blazing too high, burning out, or burning too low, fading out. Then we point fingers. The blame game. Maybe...just maybe, it is neither or both of y'all s fault. The breakdown may very well stem from the ignorance of this key principle; moderation.
Whether it involves drinking, eating, sex, work, or play, moderation is key. Too much or too little...begins a process of destruction.


Muhjahid Qahhar
Author of the Ambivalence trilogy

The Apology, by Muhjahid Qahhar

Posted by Muhjahid Qahhar, Author on August 30, 2013 at 8:10 AM Comments comments (0)

An apology and forgiveness are two important steps towards mental health and well being, but they don't always translate into reconciliation. To truly reconcile, the offender needs to do everything in their power to FIX WHAT WAS BROKEN.
I understood this as a child but didn't know how to articulate it. When another child would break something of mine, then apologize, it didn't fix my toy. I harbored resentment. The apologies became rituals, not solvents, and phoniness crept into our relationship, rendering the apology and forgiveness ineffective. If they fixed it, or their parents bought me another toy, we were able to move on as if nothing had happened.
It is the same with adults.

Muhjahid Qahhar
Author of the gripping, innovative novella Ambivalence: The Beginning

Where Would You Be, Without Me? by Muhjahid Qahhar

Posted by Muhjahid Qahhar, Author on August 29, 2013 at 9:30 AM Comments comments (0)

Fantasia has another hit single out titled, "Without Me."  The chorus rings, "Where Would You Be WIthout Me?" As it played over the radio this morning while taking my son to school, I found myself growing irritated by what seemed to be yet another song geared towards division between the genders. Having my child in the car with me keeps me in an analytical mode.

At some point in the song I asked myself, "Where would I be without my wife?" I considered the many ups and downs we've encountered throughout our marriage, the many times I have wondered if I would have accomplished more in life without her. This is not a proud confession but I'm certain she has considered the same during difficult times, and I doubt that these thoughts are germane to us.

With the amount of anger and resentment I had towards the prison system and its inhumane treatment towards its residents, it is quite possible that I would be dead right now, along with many others, before they finally stopped me. To a lesser extreme, I may have backslid into my old ways of promiscuity. A different woman in each city and state, too busy with the wrong things instead of being forced by responsibility to sit still long enough to keep my mind focused on the right things.

There are many brothers released from prison, some smarter than me, and society will never be exposed to their minds, children will never benefit from their full potential. They will do more harm than good because men are prone to get their priorities misconstrued without the balancing factor a good woman brings to the table.

As we inched along in the school traffic, I turned off the radio and told my son, "Women can seem like a royal pain in the ass sometimes, but part of that pain is what God put in their nature to constantly chip away at us, to help us maintain balance. Son, all friction is not bad. Learn what to let go of and what to hold on to, and you'll go far. They help you differentiate between your wants and needs."

I know that he didn't understand all of what I said, but he will remember it. He always does. When he's trying to wiggle out of some work or a task, he'll revisit the conversation. He'll ask me something like, "Daddy, what is friction?"

Muhjahid Qahhar

No Instructions (excerpt), by Muhjahid Qahhar

Posted by Muhjahid Qahhar, Author on August 27, 2013 at 9:25 PM Comments comments (0)

"Now, let me hold the candy."

Demetrius passed it to me. I opened it but didn't touch the candy.

"Who's the oldest?"

"Me!" Demetrius said.

"By right of age, you get to divide it."

I watched mischief surface on his face as he broke the two pieces disproportionally. When he attempted to pass Kelvin the smaller piece, I stopped him.

"No no no, it's not over yet. Now, hold a piece in each hand."

Next I turned to Kelvin. "Alright lil' man, by right of turn, you get to choose which piece you want."

Homosexuality From Another Perspective, by Muhjahid Qahhar

Posted by Muhjahid Qahhar, Author on August 27, 2013 at 11:55 AM Comments comments (0)
If you were watching National Geographic and they showed two, beautiful, majestic male lions having sex with one another, how would it affect you? Would you gradually dismiss the initial shock as an isolated, freak twist of nature? What if, twenty years later National Geographic did a follow up and found that 30% of male lions were now having same sex relationships? Would you start to worry about the future of that wonderful species? Would some organization camp out in the jungles of Africa to try and figure out the cause for such a strange twist in the nature of these beautiful, strong animals? Would we do everything in our power to find the root cause, and eliminate it?I'm not trying to be funny or cruel, I'm only posing a very real question...that extends into an even larger question. I would love some feedback. Muhjahid Qahhar

Ambivalence (excerpt), by Muhjahid Qahhar

Posted by Muhjahid Qahhar, Author on August 26, 2013 at 11:10 PM Comments comments (0)

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            Antwan offered me three bricks up front. That’s cocaine for those of you who might not know. Three Kilos. No consignment, no strings, my shit to move how I pleased.

            The problem. What used to be our dreams were no longer my dreams.

Ambivalence: The Beginning


Unswept Dust, by Muhjahid Qahhar

Posted by Muhjahid Qahhar, Author on August 25, 2013 at 10:20 PM Comments comments (0)

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“You see my dear, the South Carolina Depatrment of Corrections has no real history of breeding the type of individual sitting before you. Now, you have yourself to thank, along with your like minded comrads. It was you who called me into existence. Oppression with hope fuels people to start pushing back, but oppression without hope infuses sort of a toxic effect where people start to boil, explode, and lash back. This is why you returned home and found me sitting in your living room.

“Those of you at the bottom realm of the South Carolina Department of Corrections, your mind couldn't grasp the dangers your job creates. You have dwelled in a relative state of calm and safety. It is nothing for an avenger to pick y’all off, I could have done it long before tonight. You take the same route home daily, you even ride around in your fucking uniform. You’re probably proud to be seen in that shit. The good house nigga."

Pausing, breathing in their fear I could smell the fecies of someone who had released their bowels. That was the power of a Chopper pointed at you, held by a man you had wronged in the worst way. It was a room full of terror. Three Correctional Officers minutes away from meeting God face to face. In that moment I felt vindicated.

Unswwept Dust (the explosive finale to the Ambivalencetrilogy)

by Muhjahid Qahhar  

 

What Makes "Being a Husband" Desirable? by Muhjahid Qahhar

Posted by Muhjahid Qahhar, Author on August 25, 2013 at 3:55 PM Comments comments (0)

WHAT MAKES "BEING A HUSBAND" DESIRABLE TODAY?

While sitting on my front porch taking in some fresh air, I watched a truck pass. It was run down, on its last leg. The man driving is a husband who stays a few houses down from me. He's in his early thirties. His wife pushes a brand new 25-$30,000 car. She sails past daily, windows rolled up, air conditioned, looking like new money. They have one child and earn roughly the same amount of money.
Now, I understand the concept of the male sacrificing for the comfort and security of his family. I do. But in this situation, I can't help but wonder what makes her think this will make for a happy man...in the long run. And for the young man considering marriage in this modern age, they're not impressed with this version of chivalry. In fact, they look at this guy as being soft. In their minds, why should the good guy drive around in the hooptie, lack in his wardrobe...where is the incentive in that?
Women feel like "having a family who is secure" should be rewarding enough, and superficial things shouldn't affect him that way. After all, he's a HUSBAND, he doesn't need anything, any comforts outside of his family right? Me, being a husband, I can certainly say that it is rewarding, but no more rewarding than it is for the wife.
I believe the days of the husband driving a bucket while the wife pushes a space ship is a thing of the past. That whole mentality should have left with the afro, in my opinion. Just because he's a good dude and loves you, doesn't mean he should be reduced to a hewer of wood.
We must be realistic and considerate today. Change is inevitable. If we do not change with the time we are destroyed by time.


Muhjahid Qahhar 

Unswept Dust (excerpt), by Muhjahid Qahhar

Posted by Muhjahid Qahhar, Author on August 24, 2013 at 9:15 PM Comments comments (0)

"Your father must have been a glass maker."
"And what is that suppose to mean?"
"Glass reflects sound and absorbs none.
She dropped her head and clutched her face in her palms.
"That freakin mouth of yours I swear. You are sad Tenaka. Your problem is with women. Not me, not Tricia; no particular woman; women. They are your problem, and it began long before we met."
"I stand on what I believe."
"As well as what you do. In fact, 'what you do' is exactly what you stand on. It is who you are."
I was starting to shut down.
"Listen, I didn't come here to finger point. I've just never known you to lie before, and that worries me."
"I didn't have a reason before."
"There is never a reason Tenaka. Just listen at your self."
"Even you will lie...when it is necessary. For a man, it is impossible to live peacefully with a woman without some lying."
"Wow. Your wit is extraordinary. All to justify remaining a criminal.

Unswept Dust (the finale to the Ambivalence trilogy)

by Muhjahid Qahhar

No Instructions (excerpt), by Muhjahid Qahhar

Posted by Muhjahid Qahhar, Author on August 24, 2013 at 1:05 PM Comments comments (0)
“I now understand all the warnings people gave me about involving myself with your type. They were right. Even Alvin was right.”
Her words were saturated with calamity. What could I say? I was exhausted.
“Anything could have happened to me. They could have raped me and killed me. I didn’t study hard and go to college to get caught up in this type of shit.”
I let her ramble but noticed that we weren’t heading back to the motel. As we turned onto Lincoln Street I asked, “Where are you going?”
“To the police department, where do you think?”
“To the what? Are you”-
“I don’t want to hear anymore of your logic about not dealing with the police! That seems to be a code criminals live by and I’m not a criminal." Tricia & Tenaka

If you haven't started the Ambivalence trilogy, you've come to the right site. Just click on the title page and order you autographed copy today.

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